Overcoming Affirmation Addiction

Romans 2:29 ~ "But a Jew is one inwardly, and circumcision is a matter of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the letter. His praise is not from man but from God."

​Many years ago, early in the days of ministry, I knew a man who possessed great abilities as a solid worker in the church. He was a skilled carpenter and gardener, and generally would perform his work with determination. Until one day he declared with absolute resolve that he would no longer serve the church in any capacity. When asked why, his reasons were thus: "Why should I do all this work--nobody ever even notices?" What he wanted was a constant stream of praise, a vocal trophy wall from the fellowship for all his hard work. He was an affirmation addict. 

Is it wrong to give and receive praise? Not at all. God's word is clear on this when, in Proverbs 27:2 we read, "Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips." Again, in Romans 13:7 it says, "Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed." It is good that we lift one another up, to give honor and praise to those who have strived to serve the LORD with faithfulness and courage. Paul repeatedly praises many by name throughout his letters in the New Testament. We must never go around boasting about ourselves, or praising our own name. But when another rejoices in your faithfulness, receive it as a glory to the LORD.

But what if there is no one to give you glory and honor for serving? What if no one notices that you are striving to be faithful? Will you throw up your hands in despair and decide that it's just not worth it? Could it be, then, that you might fall under the category of an affirmation addict? 

Consider our text for this day. Paul was referencing the outward sign of circumcision as the marker for those who were Jews. It was an external sign, done when a boy was just an infant, and it was a testimony of the covenant between God and Israel. But the real circumcision, the one that mattered most, was the inner one--a matter of the heart. Consider what Deuteronomy 30:6 says, "And the Lord your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your offspring, so that you will love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, that you may live." Remember what God told Samuel when choosing a king--that the LORD looks at the heart (see 1 Samuel 16:7).

And then our text today says this: "...his praise is not from man but from God." Is it enough for you that God is honored in the service you render to the LORD Jesus? There is so much striving today in the world for the various "atta-boy" praises, but let that not be the condition of the church. Jesus warned against such desires. In Matthew 6:2 we read, "Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward." A key phrase is: that they may be praised by others. 

If you never hear another voice in this world tell you "well done," is it enough to do well, knowing that your Father in heaven looks down upon your good works and is glorified and will reward you with honor in His presence? When the master of the house returned and found his servants faithful in Matthew 25:21 we read, "His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’" 

Beloved, do not fall into the down-trodden disposition of those who must receive a continual stream of affirmation. That streambed will run dry soon enough, for it cannot sustain such a thirst. But if you seek the praise that comes from the Almighty, and long to be pleasing to Him, there is then a river of life to drink from and it will sustain you with joy in His service--no matter if it is noticed by others or not. Even now there are those who are serving the LORD with unwavering faithfulness, anonymous in the world but seen by God. Their delight is in His glory and they serve that He might be made known.

​Let that be said of us as well.

In His Grace,
Pastor Michael

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